I, like so many others, have been worn down by everything this past couple of years. Yes, I have been down dark paths in my mind and thankfully am always able to see light and move back towards positivity so as not to be constantly and completely consumed by it. The pandemic has made it more difficult for sure, but that is just the tip of the iceberg.
My skin health journey began with tremendous loss and heartbreak, guilt and anger. However, this catalyst has kept me focused and driven for the past two years. Allow me to elaborate as I appear to be open to so many, those that know me best know I keep all of my most intense thoughts and feelings solely to myself.
In April 2018, my sister Rose was diagnosed with nodular melanoma. She was always a fighter, so she immediately was on the warpath and was very aggressive with her treatment plan. I knew she was preoccupied with her battle and she was busy. I believed we’d had more time to truly catch up later. We’d have another weekend or family gathering or we’d get around for a cocktail. I kept putting off my want to just hang out with my sister, there would be a better time later.
I was never able to have that last conversation with my sister in person. In September 2018, I was extremely short of breath which was causing panic attacks. I had never experienced anything like this. 27 years of heavy smoking—something I did fully knowing the damage it does—had left my lungs weakened and prone to infections. I had walking pneumonia, and severely damaged lungs and I would be diagnosed with early COPD. At that time, Rose was in the hospital, her body racked with pain and ailments unknown, but she was still in good spirits. Because of my pneumonia I wasn’t allowed into her ward.
When she was moved to a room in hospice in October, I was finally allowed to be with her. The morphine conversations were short and of no real importance, but I was still glad to have them with her. She had two requests of me in those final days; to quit smoking and to take my skin health seriously with annual skin exams.
I had my last cigarette and first full body skin exam late February 2019. Both milestones were much simpler than I’d expected. I had been to dermatologists before and had a couple biopsies, an excision or two, but no one ever seemed overly concerned with my skin.
This visit was different. Three biopsies and a pretty positive experience, almost routine feeling in a strange way. I should have felt so much different due to my recent loss and family history, but I actually enjoyed it. Possibly because I was doing it for Rose. I mean, I just let someone thoroughly and meticulously examine every inch of me… with a light and magnifier. I have been pretty modest about my body most of my life but somehow, I was fine with this.
I got a call a week later with my results on March 4, 2019, which seemed odd because they told me to call them in two weeks. The person on the phone was in good spirits as she told me my results one at a time so I could jot them down.
- Left mid back: dysplastic nevus with moderate atypia
- Left upper back: dysplastic nevus with moderate atypia…
I was thinking to myself “what in the hell does that mean? Maybe I should write this down!” And then my world dropped into slow motion, my ears felt like I was under water, everything around me blurred…
- Mid clavicle: melanoma…. static
I heard nothing else for what seemed like a minute. When my brain slowly began processing what was being said again, I was booking an appointment for a slow Mohs procedure in six weeks. She was so polite yet nonchalant about the bomb she dropped on me like it was no big deal. Clearly, she didn’t understand, she didn’t know my history, she didn’t know.
I was working at the time and had taken the call with a client in my chair. I walked back into the shop, sat down and quickly covered the work I had done on my clients tattoo so far with a bandage. I told her I had to go home to talk to my wife. I had to leave. Luckily, she could sense something was wrong and my insistence was justified. I called my wife and told her I was heading home and to meet me. I would explain at the house.
When we got home, I somehow managed to get the words out through the tears and cracking speech. The amount of guilt I felt at this moment would only be matched at one other point in my life so far. After a minute or so of consoling me, she began to take charge, which is what I needed. She quickly called the scheduling department and got me an appointment in two days instead of the six weeks. She handled it all like a seasoned veteran. Now, I could focus on what I had to do, tell my family and my children.
I didn’t want to bring up all the pain and fear that we all just gone through. I decided to tell my sister Dee first as she was the most knowledgeable in the family after researching so much with Rose. She asked a ton of questions which I had so few answers for, but she gave Rachael and I a better idea of what to ask the doctor at my next appointment. At my slow Mohs procedure, I learned it was melanoma in-situ, essentially the earliest stage of melanoma. We caught it very early. Good looking out Rose, message received. All of the melanoma was removed in the first procedure. In the following weeks, I had both of the other biopsied moles excised without any complications or surprises, both tested with clear margins.
In the past two years, I have had total of 37 biopsies, one melanoma in-situ, 15 dysplastic nevus with varying atypia, and two basal cell carcinoma removed. I credit my sister for saving my life. I now use my job to educate and encourage others to get skin checks annually. I promote skin health through proper use of SPF sunblock and UPF clothing. This goes hand-in-hand with what I do for a living already, excessive sun exposure fades tattoos. Due to my sister’s story and me advocating for skin exams, two of my friends have also discovered they had melanoma and basal cell carcinoma. Rose just keeps saving lives.
It is not about fearing the sun or your skin, it is a matter of respecting the sun and protecting your skin. There is no restriction when it comes to outdoor activities with proper preparation.
Thank you for the inspiration Rose. ❤️